Cuts like a knife

October 24, 2009

This one time, I got dragged along to a Bryan Adams concert and I nearly got into a fight.

I guess no-one likes being told their music sucks.


#10: Do –

October 2, 2009

Watch what you wish for.

Especially if you’re wishing for a little more excitement. You know, drama.

Cos then you’ll try and go away on holiday with your kids and 36-week-pregnant wife and then your car will break down on the way down to the beach, and then you’ll wind up effectively stranded in a caravan at the beach with no car while your wife has a couple of nights of false contractions … and the weather will be shit … and then you were meant to get the car back, but the courier… the fucking courier, who was bringing the new part… lost it, so they had to order a new part… and then you get an urgent call from your brother-in-law telling you to head for the hills because your freaked-out father-in-law had called him from Germany and told him to tell you that a “huge” tidal wave was headed for the very beach you’re at.
And, remember, you have no car. And your heavily-pregnant wife waddles very slowly, especially if it involves going uphill. And fuck, all you want to do is finish your bacon and eggs, drama bedamned!

Bedamned, I tells ya!